Following the supper, her husband went into the kitchen to clean up. She noticed that a second card had fallen from his pocket. Picking it off the floor, she read: “Don’t worry about not getting the raise! You deserve it anyway! These things will tell you how much I love you.”
Someone has said that the measure of love is when you love without measure. What this man feels for his spouse is total acceptance and love, whether she succeeds or fails. His love celebrates her victories and soothes her wounds. He stands with her, no matter what life throws in their direction.
Upon receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, Mother Teresa said: “What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” And love your friends. Love them without measure.
弗里达·布赖特说过：“只有在歌剧中，人们才会为爱而死。” 这是千真万确的。的确，你不会因为爱一个人而死。我知道有人因为缺乏爱而死，可我从来没有听说过谁因被爱而死。我们恰好是相互之间爱也爱不够。
有一个感人的故事，讲的是有个女人终于决定去向老板提出加薪的要求。她一整天都焦虑不安。下午晚些时候，她鼓起勇气向老板提议。让她感到高兴的是，老板同意给她加薪。
当晚，女人回家后，发现漂亮的餐桌上已经摆满了丰盛的菜肴，烛光在轻轻地摇曳着。丈夫提早回家准备了一顿庆祝宴。她心想，会不会是办公室里有人向他通风报信了呢？或者……他不知怎么的竟知道她不会被拒绝？
她在厨房找到了他，告诉了他这个好消息。他们拥抱亲吻，然后坐下来共享美餐。在她的盘子旁边，女人看到了一张字迹优美的便条。上面写着：“祝贺你，亲爱的！我就知道你会加薪的。我为你做的这一切会告诉你，我有多么爱你。”
晚餐后，丈夫到厨房洗碗。她注意到又有张卡片从他口袋里掉了出来。她把卡片从地板上拣起来，念道：“不要因为没有加薪而烦恼！不管怎样，是该给你加薪了！我为你做的这一切会告诉你，我有多么爱你。”
有人曾经说过，爱的限度就是无限度地去爱。不管妻子成功还是失败，这个男人都给予她完全的包容和爱。他的爱庆祝她的胜利，也抚平她的创伤。不管生活的道路上遇到什么，他们始终同舟共济。
特蕾莎修女在接受诺贝尔和平奖时说道：“你能为促进世界和平做些什么呢？回家爱你的家人吧。”还要爱你的朋友。爱他们无止境。
Marriage, Love And Freedom 婚姻、爱与自由
You are asking,“Is it possible to be married and to be free?”
If you take marriage non-seriously, then you can be free. If you take it seriously, then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game—it is a game. Have a little sense of humor, that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life; but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality—it is a fiction.
But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes, because in the fiction things are going so tragically. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off, so everybody can enjoy the movie, laugh, cry, be sad and be happy. If there was light it would be a little difficult—what will others think? And they know perfectly well that the screen is empty—there is nobody; it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.
And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously, we take so seriously—and from that seriousness begins our problem.
In the first place, why should you get married? You love someone, live with someone—it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone, you can love someone.
Marriage is not something that happens in heaven, it happens here, through the crafty priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don’t want to stand alone and aloof, you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game: “Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage, and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere in your life, nor are you going to interfere in my life; we will live as two friends together, sharing our joys, sharing our freedom—but not becoming a burden on each other. And any moment we feel that the spring has passed, the honeymoon is over, we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending, but to say to each other that we loved much—and we will remain grateful to each other forever, and the days of love will haunt us in our memories, in our dreams, as golden— but the spring is over. Our paths have come to a point, where although it is sad, we have to part, because now, living together is not a sign of love. If I love you, I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you. If you love me, you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment for me.”
Love is the highest value in life: It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together—you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love, and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom. If you cannot give freedom to the person you love, to whom can you give freedom? Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.
So whether you are married or not, remember, all marriages are fake—just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison you and bind you to each other; their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom; and in the past, all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom, love dies.
You see a bird on the wing in the sun, in the sky, and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty, you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.
