And there's some ham, I know. While you are getting wine, I'll broil some. And there were some strawberries. I shall have some supper with you. What a good thought! And you must be famished."As they ate they talked perfectly simply and naturally of the hundred associations which this studio meal at the end of the evening called up concerning the Sunday night parties. There was an occasion on which Hermann tried to recollect how to mull beer, with results that smelled like a brickfield; there was another when a poached egg had fallen, exploding softly as it fell into the piano. There was the occasion, the first on which Michael had been present, when two eminent actors imitated each other; another when Francis came and made himself so immensely agreeable. It was after that one that Sylvia and Hermann had sat and talked in front of the stove, discussing, as Sylvia laughed to remember, what she would say when Michael proposed to her. Then had come the break in Michael's attendances and, as Sylvia allowed, a certain falling-off in gaiety.
"But it was really Hermann and I who made you gay originally," she said. "We take a wonderful deal of credit for that."All this was as completely natural for them as was the impromptu meal, and soon without effort Michael spoke of his mother again, and presently afterwards of the news of war. But with him by her side Sylvia found her courage come back to her; the news itself, all that it certainly implied, and all the horror that it held, no longer filled her with the sense that it was impossibly terrible.
Michael did not diminish the awfulness of it, but he gave her the power of looking out bravely at it. Nor did he shrink from speaking of all that had been to her so grim a nightmare.
"You haven't heard from Hermann?" he asked.
"No. And I suppose we can't hear now. He is with his regiment, that's all; nor shall we hear of him till there is peace again."She came a little closer to him.
"Michael, I have to face it, that I may never see Hermann again,"she said. "Mother doesn't fear it, you know. She--the darling--she lives in a sort of dream. I don't want her to wake from it.
But how can I get accustomed to the thought that perhaps I shan't see Hermann again? I must get accustomed to it: I've got to live with it, and not quarrel with it."He took up her hand, enclosing it in his.
"But, one doesn't quarrel with the big things of life," he said.
"Isn't it so? We haven't any quarrel with things like death and duty. Dear me, I'm afraid I'm preaching.""Preach, then," she said.
"Well, it's just that. We don't quarrel with them: they manage themselves. Hermann's going managed itself. It had to be."Her voice quivered as she spoke now.
"Are you going?" she asked. "Will that have to be?"Michael looked at her a moment with infinite tenderness.
"Oh, my dear, of course it will," he said. "Of course, one doesn't know yet what the War Office will do about the Army. I suppose it's possible that they will send troops to France. All that concerns me is that I shall rejoin again if they call up the Reserves.""And they will?"
"Yes, I should think that is inevitable. And you know there's something big about it. I'm not warlike, you know, but I could not fail to be a soldier under these new conditions, any more than Icould continue being a soldier when all it meant was to be ornamental. Hermann in bursts of pride and patriotism used to call us toy-soldiers. But he's wrong now; we're not going to be toy-soldiers any more."
She did not answer him, but he felt her hand press close in the palm of his.
"I can't tell you how I dreaded we shouldn't go to war," he said.
"That has been a nightmare, if you like. It would have been the end of us if we had stood aside and seen Germany violate a solemn treaty."Even with Michael close to her, the call of her blood made itself audible to Sylvia. Instinctively she withdrew her hand from his.
"Ah, you don't understand Germany at all," she said. "Hermann always felt that too. He told me he felt he was talking gibberish to you when he spoke of it. It is clearly life and death to Germany to move against France as quickly as possible.""But there's a direct frontier between the two," said he.
"No doubt, but an impossible one."
Michael frowned, drawing his big eyebrows together.
"But nothing can justify the violation of a national oath," he said. "That's the basis of civilisation, a thing like that.""But if it's a necessity? If a nation's existence depends on it?"she asked. "Oh, Michael, I don't know! I don't know! For a little I am entirely English, and then something calls to me from beyond the Rhine! There's the hopelessness of it for me and such as me. You are English; there's no question about it for you. But for us! I love England: I needn't tell you that. But can one ever forget the land of one's birth? Can I help feeling the necessity Germany is under? I can't believe that she has wantonly provoked war with you.""But consider--" said he.
She got up suddenly.
"I can't argue about it," she said. "I am English and I am German.
You must make the best of me as I am. But do be sorry for me, and never, never forget that I love you entirely. That's the root fact between us. I can't go deeper than that, because that reaches to the very bottom of my soul. Shall we leave it so, Michael, and not ever talk of it again? Wouldn't that be best?"There was no question of choice for Michael in accepting that appeal. He knew with the inmost fibre of his being that, Sylvia being Sylvia, nothing that she could say or do or feel could possibly part him from her. When he looked at it directly and simply like that, there was nothing that could blur the verity of it. But the truth of what she said, the reality of that call of the blood, seemed to cast a shadow over it. He knew beyond all other knowledge that it was there: only it looked out at him with a shadow, faint, but unmistakable, fallen across it. But the sense of that made him the more eagerly accept her suggestion.
