登陆注册
8757600000002

第2章 幸福的钥匙由你掌握 (1)

The Key to Your Well-Being Is Grasped by Yourself

生命不息,变化不止。渐渐地,我们认清自己,了解自己,明白我们肩上的重担。我们知道一时的感激或愤怒只能短时间内抚平或激化我们的情绪。对自己的整体认识才是决定我们心境的因素。而幸福正取决于我们自己的心境。

You Are the Only One Who Can Make You Happy你是唯一能让自己幸福的人

“You are the only one who can make you happy.” We have all heard that so many times in our lives. There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall happiness of the day.

However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile. That is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is happiness.

As life progresses and changes, we realize who we are, and know what we are, and know what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our happiness.

So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more?

How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn’t like and set about making changes. It doesn’t have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can’t afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven’t had a vacation for awhile and just can’t afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.

Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.

You may be saying, “Sure, that sounds so easy but...”Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.

If your unhappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.

Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!

“你是唯一能让自己幸福的人”。我们不止一次听到这句话,有时候我们认为它难以理解。现实生活中周围的人会给你的心情造成很大的影响。一大早孩子就耍脾气;狗狗昨晚把屋里搞得一团糟;上班的路上堵车;终于到了办公室,与你共事的同事却打电话请病假……这些事情都可能影响你这一天的幸福指数。

然而,幸福不同于心情和稍纵即逝的情绪。幸福是回顾自己生活时的会心微笑,因为知道会有这样的时刻:孩子们不愿按时睡觉,可是过会儿再去查看时,他们已经天使一般睡的很甜,他们是你的天使。此刻,你已经完全忘记刚才的愤怒。这就是幸福。

生命不息,变化不止。渐渐地,我们认清自己,了解自己,明白我们肩上的重担。我们知道一时的感激或愤怒只能短时间内抚平或激化我们的情绪。对自己的整体认识才是决定我们心境的因素。而幸福正取决于我们的心境。

那么,如何控制情绪并找到通往幸福之路呢?这个问题极为重要。与此相关的书数不胜数。你读书,按照书中的指示练习,最终却越来越迷惑;在余下的日子里回味之前的生活,找出带给你幸福的元素,然而花费了更多的时间和精力,却愈感挫败。

我们不防试着这样,首先审视自我,找出自己的喜好,并据此做出改变。大刀阔斧地变革并无必要。比如,你不喜欢现在的房子却无力支付一个新房子,不妨重新粉刷卧室,或在餐桌上放瓶鲜花。再比如你很久没有度假,对于腐败旅游又囊中羞涩,那么去野营吧。

问题可能更私密或独特。易怒?学习瑜伽或静坐。婚姻不和谐?咨询顾问。孩子不听话?找出他们主要的问题,制定惩罚措施并严格执行。

你可能会说:“说起来容易,但是……”。当然,任何事情都是说起来容易做起来难。但是在很大程度上,你认为事情有多难,它就有多难。有时候,你夸大了问题的难度。

如果你的不幸源于你无法掌控的形势,寻找其他方法。如果手头非常紧,近期又不太可能有飞来横财的话,那就选择便宜一点的娱乐方式,比如在后院打球,在公园里野餐,躺在卧室里边看电影边吃爆米花和零食,偶尔晚上出去高消费一下。如果你的问题非常严重以至于感到浑身乏力、无计可施,赶紧去寻求帮助吧。

要不然,看着镜子里的自己微笑吧。如果不喜欢自己看到的,试着改变。解决问题就是这么简单!

Happiness Is Devotion幸福就是投入

Under the scorching sun, an old man sat by the bank staring at the buoy on the river. From dawn to dusk he still got nothing in his hands. However, the old man was happy at ease. I felt so puzzled about it.

The old man said with a smile,“I’m the fish and the fish is me, I’m fishing and I’m also being fished; like playing chess, the fish and I have such an equal stamina that I have a wonderful time.” At this point, an urchin threw a stone into the water. A circle of ripples wafted over. The old man said, “The wind rises.”

Life is a chess game while happiness is devotion.

烈日下,一老翁坐在岸边,两眼一动不动的盯着河面的浮标,从日出到日落,依然两手空空,老翁却怡然自得,乐在其中。我很是纳闷。

老翁笑着说:“我即鱼,鱼即我,我在钓鱼,鱼也在钓我,就像下棋,我和鱼的耐力旗鼓相当,这才过瘾。”一顽童向水中扔一块石头,一阵波纹飘荡过来,老翁曰:“起风了。”

人生就是一盘棋,而幸福就是投入。

Life Is a Cup of Coffee生活是杯咖啡

同类推荐
  • 英语PARTY——多元时空

    英语PARTY——多元时空

    本套书籍带你领略英语世界风景,感悟英语学习氛围,有助于英语学习。
  • 科学读本(英文原版)(第2册)

    科学读本(英文原版)(第2册)

    以一位名为威尔逊的教授与3位学生为主角,通过对各种事物与科学知识和原理的讨论,系统讲述了孩子们身边随时可见的事物与现象原理。以激发孩子们对科学的兴趣与爱好。这比死记知识,大量解题要实用得多。《科学读本(英文原版)(套装共6册)》对中国学生而言,这又是另一习得英语的良好途径,尤其对那些准备出国学习的孩子们,《科学读本》的阅读学习,对他们继续国外课程的学业定有很大帮助。比起文学与文史题材的英语读本,科学英语更容易让孩子们理解与学习。一是其讲述内容均为我们身边熟悉的万事万物,容易联想记忆;二是科技英语的语法、句子结构相对简单,比文学语言更简洁清晰,易于理解。相信会得到孩子们的喜欢。
  • 雅思英语词汇词根词缀高效记忆:轻松背单词

    雅思英语词汇词根词缀高效记忆:轻松背单词

    书中所收录的单词都是从历届雅思考试题中提炼出来的。编者利用先进的电脑统计分析技术,对历年考试题中出现的单词进行系统的电脑分频,将历年考题中出现频率较高的单词甄选出来,标注为常考单词。考题中出现频率较低的,但是考试范围内的单词,标注为普通单词。极大地方便了考生有的放矢地去背单词。
  • 当英语也成为时尚——猫咪伴我行

    当英语也成为时尚——猫咪伴我行

    本书采用英汉对照的方式描写猫猫狗狗、人与自己宠物的真挚感情的故事。
  • 超级英语情景100话题

    超级英语情景100话题

    《超级英语情景100话题》就像是一张通向“英语口语王国”的入场券,它就是为了大家英语口语话题积累而精心编辑的。本书收录的情景对话紧紧围绕人们谈论频 率较高的话题,让您在遇到外国人时能打破僵局,快速找到投缘的话题,愉快地用英语进行交流。
热门推荐
  • 武尊天下

    武尊天下

    家族次子游天鸿因为母亲身份低下,备受欺凌,却无意中获得一个神奇方鼎,踏上武修和神修道路,在家族中地位攀升,离家历练,从此崛起!武宗武神,又能如何?挥手间八方云动,诸天幻灭,唯我武尊天下!
  • 蛮横相公贪财妻

    蛮横相公贪财妻

    比她有钱,她忍;比她聪明,她又忍;比她还美,她再忍。谁让他是她的相公呢,反正他的就是她的嘛!比她小气,她忍;比她无良,她又忍;比她腹黑,她还是忍。反正只要他一如既往宠她就行了嘛!可是,比她还贪,这个,怎么可以忍?尤其是,对她贪得无厌,这个,绝对不可忍!她是无良腹黑、小气贪婪的魂穿女,视财如命;他是蛮横狠戾、霸道无情的傲娇帝,唯我独尊。胆敢觊觎她口袋里的票子,她就收了你裤裆里的命根子;妄想挑战他的底线,他就让你消失在地平线。一纸作为交易的婚书,将毫不相干的两人硬生生绑在了一起,看霸道傲娇帝如何蹂躏“白兔”美娇妻,观无良腹黑女怎样搞定“饿狼”善妒夫。【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • 天宇诀

    天宇诀

    平凡生活的打破,覃题梦回远古,一代闷骚宅男的风云路……不问世间红尘,怎知柔情刻骨;不入腥风血雨,何以笑傲天宇!
  • 异光天赐

    异光天赐

    异光,潜藏在人类基因中千百年的病毒,这个病毒给人们带来的能力被古人视为天给与的神迹,称其为天赐。
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 无人见月凉

    无人见月凉

    一场满是红光的梦,惊醒了谁的过往。梦里那个陌生的侧脸,你是谁,我们,认识吗?
  • 重生女孩与王源的相遇

    重生女孩与王源的相遇

    一位女孩车祸引起的重生,到另一位女生的身体里,而这位女生又与王源有什么关系呢?
  • 打打杀杀的多不好

    打打杀杀的多不好

    一个天降婴儿,在5岁那年家中光芒大亮出来几个人杀了养父母悲愤中觉醒力量。瞬间启动隐藏在身体里的传送阵传送回仙武大陆,在一片祥和的环境中成长为仙
  • 名门贵妻:误惹亿万继承人

    名门贵妻:误惹亿万继承人

    温柔,内敛,宛如神祗,这是世人眼中可望而不可即的杜堇宸。狂狷,张扬,不可一世,这是温若筠眼中冷酷狠辣的杜堇宸。他杜堇宸想要得到的东西,从来没有得不到的,例如她温若筠!一次意外邂逅,一生纠缠不休。“若若,你说过的,许我来生!”他残忍地摸去她所有的记忆,只盼着等到再醒来,她的世界,只有他一人!事实,真的如此吗?
  • 海游

    海游

    海风吹去,洋流飘过,岛屿无数。浪高雨急,兽凶禽猛,一条生死路。想当年,“星月王”后,万里黄金屋。人声沸,船工累,心急上海途。翩翩少年,窈窈淑女,谦谦君子。鹏稳河准,霜灵飞俊,余人各特色。追“海王”,寻航路,探宝未知数。千帆鼓,万桨劲,自由终登顶。