Mr Ralph Nickleby cuts an old acquaintance. It would also appear from the contents hereof, that a joke, even between husband and wife, may be sometimes carried too far T HERE ARE some men who, living with the one object of enriching themselves, no matter by what means, and being perfectly conscious of the baseness and rascality of the means which they will use every day towards this end, affect nevertheless -- even to themselves -- a high tone of moral rectitude, and shake their heads and sigh over the depravity of the world. Some of the craftiest scoundrels that ever walked this earth, or rather -- for walking implies, at least, an erect position and the bearing of a man -- that ever crawled and crept through life by its dirtiest and narrowest ways, will gravely jot down in diaries the events of every day, and keep a regular debtor and creditor account with heaven, which shall always show a floating balance in their own favour. Whether this is a gratuitous (the only gratuitous) part of the falsehood and trickery of such men's lives, or whether they really hope to cheat heaven itself, and lay up treasure in the next world by the same process which has enabled them to lay up treasure in this -- not to question how it is, so it is. And, doubtless, such book-keeping (like certain autobiographies which have enlightened the world) cannot fail to prove serviceable, in the one respect of sparing the recording Angel some time and labour.
Ralph Nickleby was not a man of this stamp. Stern, unyielding, dogged, and impenetrable, Ralph cared for nothing in life, or beyond it, save the gratification of two passions, avarice, the first and predominant appetite of his nature, and hatred, the second. Affecting to consider himself but a type of all humanity, he was at little pains to conceal his true character from the world in general, and in his own heart he exulted over and cherished every bad design as it had birth. The only scriptural admonition that Ralph Nickleby heeded, in the letter, was `know thyself.' He knew himself well, and choosing to imagine that all mankind were cast in the same mould, hated them; for, though no man hates himself, the coldest among us having too much self-love for that, yet most men unconsciously judge the world from themselves, and it will be very generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature, and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant samples.
But the present business of these adventures is with Ralph himself, who stood regarding Newman Noggs with a heavy frown, while that worthy took off his fingerless gloves, and spreading them carefully on the palm of his left hand, and flattening them with his right to take the creases out, proceeded to roll them up with an absent air as if he were utterly regardless of all things else, in the deep interest of the ceremonial.
`Gone out of town!' said Ralph, slowly. `A mistake of yours. Go back again.'
`No mistake,' returned Newman. `Not even going; -- gone.'
`Has he turned girl or baby?' muttered Ralph, with a fretful gesture.
`I don't know,' said Newman, `but he's gone.'
The repetition of the word `gone' seemed to afford Newman Noggs inexpressible delight, in proportion as it annoyed Ralph Nickleby. He uttered the word with a full round emphasis, dwelling upon it as long as he decently could, and when he could hold out no longer without attracting observation, stood gasping it to himself as if even that were a satisfaction.
`And where has he gone?' said Ralph.
`France,' replied Newman. `Danger of another attack of erysipelas --a worse attack -- in the head. So the doctors ordered him off. And he's gone.'
`And Lord Frederick --?' began Ralph.
`He's gone too,' replied Newman.
`And he carries his drubbing with him, does he?' said Ralph, turning away -- `pockets his bruises, and sneaks off without the retaliation of a word, or seeking the smallest reparation!'
`He's too ill,' said Newman.
`Too ill!' repeated Ralph `Why I would have it if I were dying;in that case I should only be the more determined to have it, and that without delay -- I mean if I were he. But he's too ill! Poor Sir Mulberry!
Too ill!'
Uttering these words with supreme contempt and great irritation of manner, Ralph signed hastily to Newman to leave the room; and throwing himself into his chair, beat his foot impatiently upon the ground.
`There is some spell about that boy,' said Ralph, grinding his teeth.
`Circumstances conspire to help him. Talk of fortune's favours! What is even money to such Devil's luck as this?'
He thrust his hands impatiently into his pockets, but notwithstanding his previous reflection there was some consolation there, for his face relaxed a little; and although there was still a deep frown upon the contracted brow, it was one of calculation, and not of disappointment.
`This Hawk will come back, however,' muttered Ralph; `and if I know the man -- and I should by this time -- his wrath will have lost nothing of its violence in the meanwhile. Obliged to live in retirement -- the monotony of a sick-room to a man of his habits -- no life -- no drink --no play -- nothing that he likes and lives by. He is not likely to forget his obligations to the cause of all this. Few men would; but he of all others -- no, no!'
He smiled and shook his head, and resting his chin upon his hand, fell a musing, and smiled again. After a time he rose and rang the bell.
`That Mr Squeers; has he been here?' said Ralph.
`He was here last night. I left him here when I went home,' returned Newman.
`I know that, fool, do I not?' said Ralph, irascibly. `Has he been here since? Was he here this morning?'
`No,' bawled Newman, in a very loud key.
`If he comes while I am out -- he is pretty sure to be here by nine tonight -- let him wait. And if there's another man with him, as there will be -- perhaps,' said Ralph, checking himself, `let him wait too.'
`Let 'em both wait?' said Newman.
