登陆注册
6069300000057

第57章 WORK WITHOUT HOPE(2)

'I will never mention Milvain's name again,' said Amy coldly.

'Now that's ridiculous, and you know it.'

'I feel the same about your irritation. I can't see that I have given any cause for it.'

'Then we'll talk no more of the matter.'

Reardon threw his manuscript aside and opened a book. Amy never asked him to resume his intention of reading what he had written.

However, the paper was accepted. It came out in The Wayside for March, and Reardon received seven pounds ten for it. By that time he had written another thing of the same gossipy kind, suggested by Pliny's Letters. The pleasant occupation did him good, but there was no possibility of pursuing this course. 'Margaret Home'

would be published in April; he might get the five-and-twenty pounds contingent upon a certain sale, yet that could in no case be paid until the middle of the year, and long before then he would be penniless. His respite drew to an end.

But now he took counsel of no one; as far as it was possible he lived in solitude, never seeing those of his acquaintances who were outside the literary world, and seldom even his colleagues.

Milvain was so busy that he had only been able to look in twice or thrice since Christmas, and Reardon nowadays never went to Jasper's lodgings.

He had the conviction that all was over with the happiness of his married life, though how the events which were to express this ruin would shape themselves he could not foresee. Amy was revealing that aspect of her character to which he had been blind, though a practical man would have perceived it from the first; so far from helping him to support poverty, she perhaps would even refuse to share it with him. He knew that she was slowly drawing apart; already there was a divorce between their minds, and he tortured himself in uncertainty as to how far he retained her affections. A word of tenderness, a caress, no longer met with response from her; her softest mood was that of mere comradeship. All the warmth of her nature was expended upon the child; Reardon learnt how easy it is for a mother to forget that both parents have a share in her offspring.

He was beginning to dislike the child. But for Willie's existence Amy would still love him with undivided heart; not, perhaps, so passionately as once, but still with lover's love. And Amy understoed --or, at all events, remarked--this change in him.

She was aware that he seldom asked a question about Willie, and that he listened with indifference when she spoke of the little fellow's progress. In part offended, she was also in part pleased.

But for the child, mere poverty, he said to himself, should never have sundered them. In the strength of his passion he could have overcome all her disappointments; and, indeed, but for that new care, he would most likely never have fallen to this extremity of helplessness. It is natural in a weak and sensitive man to dream of possibilities disturbed by the force of circumstance. For one hour which he gave to conflict with his present difficulties, Reardon spent many in contemplation of the happiness that might have been.

Even yet, it needed but a little money to redeem all. Amy had no extravagant aspirations; a home of ****** refinement and ******* from anxiety would restore her to her nobler self. How could he find fault with her? She knew nothing of such sordid life as he had gone through, and to lack money for necessities seemed to her degrading beyond endurance. Why, even the ordinary artisan's wife does not suffer such privations as hers at the end of the past year. For lack of that little money his life must be ruined. Of late he had often thought about the rich uncle, John Yule, who might perhaps leave something to Amy; but the hope was so uncertain. And supposing such a thing were to happen; would it be perfectly easy to live upon his wife's bounty--perhaps exhausting a small capital, so that, some years hence, their position would be no better than before? Not long ago, he could have taken anything from Amy's hand; would it be so ****** since the change that had come between them?

Having written his second magazine-article (it was rejected by two editors, and he had no choice but to hold it over until sufficient time had elapsed to allow of his again trying The Wayside), he saw that he must perforce plan another novel. But this time he was resolute not to undertake three volumes. The advertisements informed him that numbers of authors were abandoning that procrustean system; hopeless as he was, he might as well try his chance with a book which could be written in a few weeks. And why not a glaringly artificial story with a sensational title? It could not be worse than what he had last written.

So, without a word to Amy, he put aside his purely intellectual work and began once more the search for a 'plot.' This was towards the end of February. The proofs of 'Margaret Home' were coming in day by day; Amy had offered to correct them, but after all he preferred to keep his shame to himself as long as possible, and with a hurried reading he dismissed sheet after sheet. His imagination did not work the more happily for this repugnant task; still, he hit at length upon a conception which seemed absurd enough for the purpose before him. Whether he could persevere with it even to the extent of one volume was very doubtful. But it should not be said of him that he abandoned his wife and child to penury without one effort of the kind that Milvain and Amy herself had recommended.

Writing a page or two of manuscript daily, and with several holocausts to retard him, he had done nearly a quarter of the story when there came a note from Jasper telling of Mrs Milvain's death. He handed it across the breakfast-table to Amy, and watched her as she read it.

'I suppose it doesn't alter his position,' Amy remarked, without much interest.

'I suppose not appreciably. He told me once his mother had a sufficient income; but whatever she leaves will go to his sisters, I should think. He has never said much to me.'

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 柳岸花明2020

    柳岸花明2020

    花明从小立志当医生,在骗了某人之后,却另辟蹊径,往秃头这个方向发展。被骗的某人:你不是从小立志学医吗?花明:额......有吗?
  • 珉王子的幸福

    珉王子的幸福

    林珉是本文主人公,让我们看看他如何从一名普通学生成长为众所周知的珉王子。
  • 辛苦了夫人

    辛苦了夫人

    从小就被特殊看待特殊训练的蓝桉在17岁的时候逃离了那困住她17年的牢笼。失去了所有的一切的她,变成了一个受人尊敬的怪物。她冷酷无私,无数的悲剧在她的身上奏响无数人为她付出了生命的代价。因为4年前的事情,他们的命运纠缠在一起。知道了她前半生所有的风雨,让他同情却敬畏,让他深陷不可自拔。过程中,知道了夫人无数的小马甲,让他感到无助和无奈,自己的夫人的地位可是比自己还高,挺没有面子的。“程夫人,你可真是让我大开眼界啊!”他玩笑似的抱着自己怀里人的说道。“程先生,幸会,这些只是小事只不过是冰山一角,还有别的呢!”她侧头看向他道。“拭目以待。”他轻吻她的额头,深情至极。他的不离不弃,不断的给她希望,她的温柔细心至极,不断的打动她的心,最后一次的心动已经让她彻底放下了防备,深陷在他的爱里。他虽然蓄谋已久,但她甘愿上钩。她终究还是找到了最后的救赎,最后唯一的救赎。
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 终须忘记

    终须忘记

    苏了了,苏炳,沈博年,Roy,王一佳,高磊,李旦等等,男男女女相爱分离,所有人都期待对方是自己的唯一,可是有谁做到了。承诺那么多。到最后都是镜花水月,所有人的幸福,究竟在何处。
  • 萌宠嫁到:摄政王的小狐妃

    萌宠嫁到:摄政王的小狐妃

    他堂堂端木王朝的摄政王,竟然惹出了大麻烦。“主子,那狐儿把后院弄得人仰马翻。”正在处理公务的端木离丝毫没有停下笔:“随她高兴。”“主子,那狐儿将皇后的寝室给烧了。”端木离头也不抬,轻描淡写一句:“多给她几个火把。”侍卫上气不接下气,飞奔来报,“主子,那狐,不是,小郡主跟着妖孽跑了……”“咔嚓”听到这句话后,端木离手中的笔一下应声而断。某小狐三里地没出,就被捉了回来,“小东西,想跑?看来昨晚的惩罚还不够!”被他壁咚在怀,她还不忘舔唇商量,“小离离有话好好说~”“不了,本王喜欢好好做。”下一秒,某男凤眸噙笑,邪魅放肆,欺上她身……
  • 武之通神

    武之通神

    天地异变,灵潮复苏,全球百分之八十的人都能够吸收灵气进而修炼,高三学生赵墨却悲催的成为了另外百分之二十中的一员,索性他意外得到一道六芒星印。可通过六芒星印进入小说中的世界,这下赵墨发达了,不能修仙,那就入武!修炼有成的赵墨以拳轰天,誓要用拳头向天说说自己的道理,吾辈武道,不弱任何一道!
  • 笑傲异世:至尊魔妃

    笑傲异世:至尊魔妃

    被一句无故的话带到异世,鸣在迷茫中遇到了一个自大的男人。他在她最需要的时候出现,却霸道地宣誓:我看中的人,没有我允许,不许死。可是,那日,她看到他杀掉给她温暖的哥哥,她对天起誓:我和你端木子鱼从此如这把刀,一刀两断。
  • 重生之帝女风华

    重生之帝女风华

    一夕之间,宫倾玉碎,驸马于禁宫之中勒死帝后,黄袍加身。公主南宫霓肢残容毁,葬身火海。一霎移魂,梦回十年,帝女归来,涅槃重生!宫廷诡谲,朝堂险恶,阴谋阳谋,道不清的暗藏杀机,数不尽的牛鬼蛇神。母后不受宠?公主如庶生?笑话,那又怎样?人不犯我,我不犯人,人若犯我,我必十倍报之。前世她太软弱,这一世,她要大开杀戮之门,遇神杀神,遇佛杀佛。本文纯属虚构,请勿模仿。