Most people would think I am a perfectionist，on an endless road chasing the impossible。That might be true three years ago，but the Cross Country experience has helped me pass beyond the rive for perfection。
I admit my obsession of“the best”when I first joined the team。Practicing my hardest everyday，I believed I could one day be one of the fastest runners。However，very soon，my vision was crushed。Teammates who rarely practiced passed me at every race。“Best”was no where in sight for me this time。For the weeks that followed，I went through a phase thinking“life is unfair”and“what I do makes little difference”。But perfectionists cannot remain goal-less for too long。After I accepted my little Asian legs，I turned to making the most out of what I have。Wobbling and gagging at the finish line would mean I have done everything that I could。That became my goal，not“best”。If I could still walk straight，then my size five feet could have turned faster。
On the surface I am still a nut-case perfectionist，but my motivation，standards，and goals have completely changed。I still search for“best”，now it is modified as“best of me”。
译文：完美主义者
不少认识我的人都认为我是个完美主义者，在看不到尽头的路上追逐着一些不可能的事。这个评价在三年前或许是有道理的，但是近几年越野跑的经历使我改变了许多。
我也承认，在刚刚加入越野队时我曾经醉心于追求“最佳”。我天天都顽强训练，并相信总有一天我会成为跑得最快的人之一。然而我的雄心很快地化成了梦幻般的泡影。因为好多不怎么刻苦训练的队友，每场比赛都跑在了我的前面。追求“最佳”的念头渐渐离我远去。然后我经历了一个思想的阶段：“生活是不公平的”，“我的努力没有回报”。可是完美主义者不会一直没有目标或止步不前。我意识到，不那么强壮的双腿是天生的。于是我转而追求我力所能及的“最佳”。当我能够摇摇晃晃、气喘如牛地冲过终点线时，就意味着我已经尽了全力；如果比赛结束后我尚能沿着直线行走，就说明我还有余力，下次还有进步的余地。我不再追求“最佳”，我的新目标变成了“竭尽全力”。
表面上看来，我依然追求完美。但是从本质上来说我的动力、目标和标准已然完全改变了。我仍追求“最佳”，只不过这个最佳的标准已经从绝对转化成了相对于自己的“我的最佳”。
