一个主日学校的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？”
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
“做得好，是谁呢？”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：奶奶，我要回家了。她说：啊，我很高兴！”
Isn，t It Wonderful？
“What are you so happy about？”a woman asked the 98yearold man.
“I broke a mirror，” he replied.
“But that means seven years of bad luck.”
“I know.” he said， beamingbeaming adj.照耀的， 光亮的， 喜气洋洋的， 愉快的，“Isn，t it wonderful？”
这难道不好吗
“你高兴什么？”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。
“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。
“但那预示着7年的坏运气。”
“我知道。”他高兴地说，“这难道不好吗？”
Grant Each One a Wish
Osama Bin Laden， a Canadian， and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamplamp n.灯 vt.照亮. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said， “I will grant each one a wish that，s 3 together.” The Canadian said， “I am a father and my son will be a farmer， so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile.” The genie said the magicmagic n.魔法， 巫术， 戏法 adj.魔术的， 有魔力的， 不可思议的 words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed， so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said， “Genie， tell me more about this wall，” the genie said，“ It，s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall， so nothing can get in and nothing can get out.” President Bush said，“ Wow！ That，s a big bridge...Fill it with water！！！”
满足每人一个愿望
拉登，一个加拿大人，还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯。他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵。精灵说：“我要满足你们每人一个愿望，总共三个。”加拿大人说：“我是个父亲，我儿子将成为农夫，因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃。”精灵说了咒语，愿望实现了。拉登看了很惊奇，他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗。精灵又说了咒语，愿望又实现了。布什总统问：“精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情。”精灵回答：“墙厚50英尺，高500英尺，因而里面的任何东西都出不来，外面的任何东西也进不去。”布什总统说：“哇！那是座大桥……注满水！！！”
Unharmful Ants
A medical student doing a rotation in toxicologytoxicology n.毒物学 at a poison control center told this story to his local newspaper. “Today， this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down， and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.”
无害的蚂蚁
一名在毒控中心暂时从事毒理学研究的医科学生向当地一家报纸讲述了下面这个故事。
“今天，一个女人非常焦急地打来电话，因为她发现她的小女儿在吃蚂蚁。我便马上安慰她说，蚂蚁是无害的，因而没有必要把她的女儿送到医院来。她平静了下来，在要结束通话的时候，她顺便提到她给女儿服用了一些灭蚁药以便杀死那些蚂蚁。我对她说，那她最好立即把她女儿送到急诊室来。”
Cat and Mice
Mrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punchedpunch n.冲压机， 冲床， 打孔机 vt.冲孔， 打孔 in the top.
“What，s in your box？” asked the friend.
“A cat，” answered Mrs. Brown. “You see I，ve been dreaming about mice at night and I，m so scared！ This cat is to catch them.”
“But the mice are only imaginaryimaginary adj.假想的， 想像的， 虚构的，” said the friend.
“So is the cat，” whispered Mrs. Brown.
猫和老鼠
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，” 布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。” “可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。” 布朗夫人小声说道。
Two Birds
Teacher： Here are two birds， one is a swallow， the other is sparrowsparrow n.［鸟］麻雀. Now who can tell us which is which？
Student： I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher： Please tell us.
Student： The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
A Physics Examination
Once in a physicsphysics n.物理学 examination， Nick finished the first question very soon， while his classmatesclassmate n.同班同学 were thinking it hard.
The question was： When it thundersthunder n.雷， 雷声， 轰隆声 vi.打雷， 雷鸣， why do we see the lighting first， then hear the thunderrolls？
Nick，s answer： Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
How Much Is Four Minus Four？
One day，the teacher inquired Peter：“How much is four minus four？”Peter was tonguetired．The teacher got angry and said：“What a fool！ You see，if I put four coins in your pocket，but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out，now what is left in your pocket？”“The hole，”replied Peter．
四减四等于几
一天，老师问彼得：“4减4等于几？”彼得张口结舌答不上来。老师生气地说：“真笨！你想，我要是往你口袋里放四个硬币，而你的口袋上有个窟窿，硬币全漏掉了，那么，你衣袋里还剩下什么？”“窟窿。”彼得答道。
A Second
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says： “God， what is a million dollars to you？” and God says： “A penny，” then the man says： “God， what is a million years to you？” and God says： “a second，” then the man says： “God， can I have a penny？” and God says “In a second.”
一秒钟
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。他问：“主啊， 一百万美元对你意味着多少？”上帝回答：“一便士。”男子又问：“那一百万年呢？”上帝说：“一秒钟。”最后男子请求道：“上帝，我能得到一便士吗？”上帝回答：“过一秒钟。”
Brain Transplant
A wealthywealthy adj.富有的， 丰裕的， 充分的 n.富人， 有钱人 man lay critically ill. “There，s only one thing that will save you，” his doctor said. “ A brain transplant. it，s experimental and very expensive.”
“Money is no problem，” the man said. “Can you get a brain for me ？”
“There are three availableavailable adj.可用到的， 可利用的， 有用的， 有空的， 接受探访的. The first was from a university professor， but it，ll cost you 10，000.”
“Don，t worry， I can pay. What about the second？”
“It was from a rocket scientist. It，ll cost you 100，000.”
“I have the money. And I，d be a lot smarter too. But what about the third？”
“The third was from a government bureaucratbureaucrat n.官僚主义者. It will set you back half a million dollars.”
“Why so much for the bureaucrat，s brain？” the patient asked.
“Never been used.”
脑移植
医生对他的一位病入膏肓的富翁病人说：“只有一个办法可以救你，那就是脑移植。这种办法是实验性的而且非常贵。”
“钱没有问题，”那个富翁说，“问题是，你能弄到大脑吗？”
“有三种选择。第一种是一名大学教授的，但要花1万元。”
“不用担心，我付得起。那么第二种呢？”
“第二种是一名火箭科学家的，得花10万元。”
“我有钱，那样我还能更聪明。那么第三种呢？”
“第三种是一名政府官僚的，得花50万元。”
“为什么政府官僚的脑子这么贵？”病人问道。
“因为他的脑子从未用过。”
