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第17章

He takes up the tray of unneeded tea-things from the table.] I shall want some more of all these [cakes, fruit, sandwiches, etc.]. And some people to wait. Tell Jane she must come and help.

Bennet goes out. During this passage of arms between mistress and man a momentary lull has taken place in the hubbub. As he goes out, it begins to grow again.

ENGLAND. 'E does tease yer, don't 'e? Wanted us to 'ave tea in the kitchen.

FANNY. Yes. These old family servants -AFRICA [she prides herself on being "quite the lady"]. Don't talk about 'em, dear. We had just such another. [She turns to a girl near her.] Oh, they'll run the whole show for you if you let 'em.

ENGLAND. It was Judy's idea, our giving you this little treat.

Don't you blime me for it.

WALES [a small, sprightly girl with a childish, laughing voice].

Well, we were all together with nothing better to do. They'd called a rehearsal and then found they didn't want us--silly fools. I told 'em you'd just be tickled to death.

FANNY [laughing--kisses her]. So I am. It was a brilliant idea.

[By this time she has kissed or shaken hands with the whole dozen.]

I can't introduce you all singly; it would take too long. [She makes a wholesale affair of it.] My aunts, the Misses Wetherell--Dr.

Freemantle.

The Misses Wetherell, suggesting two mice being introduced to a party of friendly kittens, standing, clinging to one another, murmur something inaudible.

DR. FREEMANTLE [who is with them to comfort them--he has got rid of the time-table, discreetly--smiles]. Delighted.

ENGLAND. Charmed. [The others join in, turning it into a chorus.

To Fanny] Glad we didn't strike one of your busy days. I say, you're not as dressy as you used to be. 'Ow are they doing you?--all right?

FANNY. Yes. Oh, yes.

CANADA ["Gerty," a big, handsome girl, with a loud, commanding voice]. George gave me your message.

FANNY [puzzled at first]. My message? [Remembering--laughs.] Oh.

That I was Lady Bantock of Bantock Hall. Yes. I thought you'd be pleased.

CANADA. Was delighted, dear.

FANNY. So glad.

CANADA. I'd always had the idea that you were going to make a mess of your marriage.

FANNY. What a funny idea! [But the laugh that accompanies it is not a merry one.]

CANADA. Wasn't it? So glad I was wrong.

WALES. We're all of us looking out for lords in disguise, now.

Can't you give us a tip, dear, how to tell 'em?

SCOTLAND. Sukey has broken it off with her boy. Found he was mixed up in trade.

STRAITS SETTLEMENTS [as before, unseen at back of crowd]. No. I didn't. 'Twas his moral character.

Then enter Honoria with glasses on a tray; Ernest with champagne;

Jane with eatables; Bennet with a napkin. It is a grim procession.

The girls are scattered, laughing, talking: Africa to the Misses Wetherell; a couple to Dr. Freemantle. England, Scotland, Wales, and Canada are with Fanny. The hubbub, with the advent of the refreshments, increases. There is a general movement towards the refreshments.

FANNY. Thanks, Bennet. You can clear away a corner of the desk.

ENGLAND [aside to her]. Go easy with it, dear. [Fanny, smiling, nods. She directs operations in a low tone to the Bennets, who take her orders in grim silence and with lips tight shut.] Don't forget, girls, that we've got to get back to-night. [Aside to the Doctor, who has come forward to help.] Some of 'em, you know, ain't used to it.

DR. FREEMANTLE [nods]. Glasses not TOO full. [He whispers to Fanny.]

IRELAND [a decided young woman]. How much time have we got?

ENGLAND. Don't ask me. It's Judy's show.

WALES [mimicking Newte]. The return train, ladies, leaves Oakham station. [Stops--she is facing the clock. She begins to laugh.]

ENGLAND. What's the matter?

WALES [still laughing]. We've got just quarter of an hour to catch it.

There is a wild rush for the refreshments. Jane is swept off her feet. Bennet's tray is upset.

ENGLAND. Quarter--! Oh, my Gawd! Here, tuck up your skirts, girls.

We'll have to -DR. FREEMANTLE. It's all right. You've got plenty of time, ladies.

There's a train from Norton on the branch line at 5.33. Gets you into London at a quarter to nine.

ENGLAND. You're SURE?

DR. FREEMANTLE [he has his watch in his hand]. Quite sure. The station is only half a mile away.

ENGLAND. Don't let's miss it. Keep your watch in your 'and, there's a dear.

FANNY [her business is--and has been--to move quietly through the throng, ****** the girls welcome, talking, laughing with them, directing the servants--all in a lady's way. On the whole she does it remarkably well. She is offering a plate of fruit to Judy].

You're a nice acting manager, you are. [Judy laughs. Fanny finds herself in front of Ireland. She turns to England.] Won't you introduce us?

ENGLAND. I beg your pardon, dear. Of course, you don't know each other. Miss Tetsworth, our new Ireland, Lady Bantock. It is "Bantock," isn't it, dear?

FANNY. Quite right. It's a good little part, isn't it?

IRELAND. Well, depends upon what you've been used to.

ENGLAND. She's got talent, as I tell 'er. But she ain't you, dear.

It's no good saying she is.

FANNY [hastening to smooth it over]. People always speak so well of us after we're gone. [Laughs.] You'll take another glass of champagne.

IRELAND. Thank you--you made a great success, they tell me, in the part.

FANNY. Oh, there's a deal of fluke about these things. You see, I had the advantage -DR. FREEMANTLE [with watch still in his hand]. I THINK, ladies -ENGLAND. Come on, girls.

A general movement.

FANNY. You must all come again--spend a whole day--some Sunday.

CANADA. Remember me to Vernon.

FANNY. He'll be so sorry to have -ENGLAND [cutting in]. 'Ope we 'aven't upset you, dear. [She is bustling them all up.]

FANNY. Not at all. [She is kissing the girls.] It's been so good to see you all again.

ENGLAND. 'Urry up, girls, there's dears. [To Fanny] Good-bye, dear. [Kissing her.] We DO miss yer.

FANNY. I'm glad you do.

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